Beloved,
I had intended to grade a licensure exam and to do some reading for sermon prep, but my mind and heart were racing. Tessa was in surgery, and I had no idea what the outcome would be.
Prior to leaving for Nashville, I had read on Psalms 115-117. The pithy Psalm 117 particularly ministered to me. It is a call for all the earth to praise God. Why? The answer is given in the second and final verse: “For great is his steadfast love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever.” I had spent much of Monday and Tuesday meditating on and grappling with the love of God (for this Sunday’s AM sermon), and so these words particularly gripped me as I read them yesterday morning.
Great is His love toward us.
As I sat on a park bench in the courtyard of Vanderbilt hospital while Tessa was under the knife, I gave myself to meditating on this great reality. I resolved in my heart that whatever the outcome of the surgery, God would still be essentially and excessively good. I preached to my heart that even the worst outcome imaginable – death – could not separate Tessa or I from God’s gospel love (Rom. 8:38-39). Then I began to reflect on all the tangible ways God had demonstrated the greatness of His love toward Tessa and I that morning alone. Here was some of the list I wrote in my journal:
- The sweet comfort of the Scriptures in the early morning hours.
- The multiplicity of messages from family and friends praying for Tessa all around the country.
- The reminder of a brother via text message that “the God of heaven will do what is right.” How particularly comforting this was to me, especially in light of last Sunday evening’s sermon.
- The Snyder’s and Nguyen’s kindly caring for our boys while away. What a blessing to have a loving church family!
- The safe and smooth drive to Vanderbilt, and the bulletproof coffee we enjoyed as we drove.
- The incredible skill of Tessa’s surgeon (truly, she is the best of the best!), and the warmth and wisdom of Tessa’s doctors and nurses.
- The bright yellow hospital socks and blankets for shivering Tessa in the pre-op room.
- The sun shinning and the birds singing in the trees of the hospital courtyard.
- The bowl of Mexican corn chowder filling my nervous stomach.
God’s lavish love was all over the place! As hard as it was to wait for the phone call from Tessa’ surgeon, seeing these demonstrations of God’s goodness fundamentally changed the waiting. And it led to glorifying Him when the surgeon called to say that Tessa’s surgery had gone exceptionally well, removing all three tumors without cutting any nerves. Of course, God’s love wouldn’t have been any less if the surgery had gone terribly. But this was a remarkable demonstration of His large-hearted, affectionate kindness toward us.
Waiting during Tessa’s surgery, I wrote, “Lord, I know not what the rest of this day holds, but I hold to the fact that you are love, and to be loved by you changes everything!”
It strikes me as I sit in Tessa’s hospital room a day later that the same is true today. Yes, the surgery is behind us. But I know not what this day holds for me, for Tessa, for our church, or for our world. Yet what sweet, praise-inducing comfort it brings to know the love of the God of heaven who orders it all. Truly, it changes everything! That is why Jude commands the church to “keep yourselves in the love of God” (v. 21). Oh friends, let us rest in the reality of God’s exceedingly great affection toward us, and let us learn to see it in all of life.
Yours in Him,
Pastor Nick