Beloved,
One of Tessa and I’s goals for 2024 is to have a monthly date night in which we get out of the house to enjoy undistracted, focused conversation with one another over good food or coffee. It is nothing magical, but we recognize that in the craziness of home and ministry life, if we don’t intentionally set apart times like this, our relationship will loose its vibrancy and depth really fast. On a typical night, Tessa and I practice the discipline of sitting on the couch after the boys go to bed to talk and pray. That has proven important lest we become like two ships passing in the night. But we want more. So now we are seeking to add the monthly discipline of a one-on-one date to the end of fostering deeper love and joy in each other.
This past Sunday, I mentioned that discipline is a key component of having a healthy devotional life with God. We saw Daniel setting apart three times in his day to seek the face of God in an undistracted and intentional manner. Did Daniel pray to God spontaneously throughout his day? I’m certain that he did. Do I talk spontaneously to Tessa throughout the day? Of course. But if we were content to have a relationship that consisted in text messages randomly fired off as we go about our day and little conversations in the midst of the chaotic noise of life, family, and ministry, our relationship would be quite shallow. The spontaneous social engagement is an important part of a healthy relationship, but the depth and vibrance primarily comes through the disciplined and undistracted time together. So too with God. Spontaneous prayer is the mark of a humble and healthy spiritually. It evidences a heart of Godward dependence and delight. If we only talk to God in the times we set aside for disciplined prayer in private, family, and public worship, then something is seriously wrong. But at the same time, if we only have spontaneous prayers, I can just about guarantee that those prayers will be weak and our relationship with God will be shallow. Deep devotion requires deep discipline.
But what I didn’t have time to flesh out on Sunday morning was that such discipline looks different for each one of us, depending on our spiritual maturity, natural temperament, and current season of life. Daniel 6 is historical narrative, not moral legislation. The account of Daniel’s disciplined prayer life is not a command saying, “Thou shall set aside three times a day to go to your room, shut the door, and pray facing Jerusalem.” Instead, it is giving us an exemplary model of a disciplined prayer life from a particular man at a particular time. Once the boys are married and out of the house, it may be realistic for Tessa and I to have a weekly date night. But right now a monthly one feels like a stretch! Don’t bite off more than you can chew when it comes to prayer. Start small, and think through what you can realistically do in this season of life. For all the moms, it might be hard to imagine having 30 seconds of quiet to pray. But get creative! The mom of John and Charles Wesley, having ten kids, used to stop in the middle of the domestic chaos, throw her apron over her head, and seek the Lord in prayer. The kids knew that when the apron was on mom’s head, they better not bother her. This was her way in her particular circumstances to discipline herself to pray, and regardless of what you think of the theology of John and Charles, there is no doubt God heard and answered those prayers mightily! Start small, reckoning with the fact that if you have never set aside concentrated time to seek God in private, it is probably not wise to initially set aside sixty minutes a day for private prayer. Start with a goal of five minutes daily, and work your way up to thirty minutes or an hour. A little discipline, if your heart and mind are truly engaged, can go a long way. And I guarantee what you will find is that your days will begin to become more Godward as a result. For disciplined devotion in dependence upon the Spirit always gives way to spontaneous devotion in the Spirit.
Yours in Christ,
Pastor Nick
