Beloved,
It goes without saying that husbands don’t particularly like when their wives become the objects of flirtatious behavior from other men. After all, one typically flirts with someone when seeking their attention and attraction. I’ve been reflecting this week on an exhortation against what we could call ecclesiastical flirting in Michael Reeves’ helpful little book titled Authentic Ministry. Here is what he says:
“It’s so tempting to want the church to look at us, to admire us, to depend on us. But think what that is! Richard Sibbes said, ‘Many make love to the spouse of Christ.’ Trying to get the bride to admire you is flirting with the bride of Christ. True friends do not behave that way. No, if we’re friends of Christ, we point the church to her husband” (p. 88).
Sometimes we need a graphic illustration like this to help us grasp just how grotesque our pride can be. Each of us faces the temptation to draw the church’s attention to ourselves. Pastors, in particular, encounter this temptation, given that their gifts tend to be more public in nature. But every Christian has the inborn tendency to use God-given gifts to draw fellow believers to themselves.
We can detract from Christ in the name of Christ. We can attempt to be Christ-replacements. We can seek the love and admiration of the church—affections that belong to Christ alone. In short, we can flirt with the bride of the Son of God.
With all due respect, if you flirt with Tessa, you may end up flirting with my fist. Godly husbands are rightly jealous for their wives and don’t take kindly to other men trying to steal their wives’ attention, attraction, and affection. If that is true of earthly husbands, how much more true must it be of the heavenly Husband! Woe to the one who would seek to draw the church away into a love affair with themselves.
Brothers and sisters, each of us is called to use our Christ-given gifts to serve Christ’s church. But we must use those gifts recognizing that they are just that—gifts. We didn’t create them. We didn’t earn them. We don’t deserve them. They have been bestowed upon us graciously by Christ Himself. Therefore, whatever might be worthy of praise in our use of those gifts is praise that must ultimately be directed to Him. We don’t use our gifts to say, “Look at how impressive I am!” Instead, we use our gifts as from Christ, through Christ, and ultimately unto Christ. We serve for the edification of the church, so that she might grow to adore the altogether impressive and lovely Lord Jesus.
For nothing is more deadly to the church than having her gaze taken off the God-man and fixed upon a mere man or woman. It is idolatry, plain and simple. And the Bible consistently speaks of idolatry as spiritual adultery, warning us of the death and destruction that always comes in the wake of it. It might not seem like a big deal to draw attention to ourselves in the church, but in doing so, we are actually encouraging fellow Christians down the road to apostasy.
Oh friends, may it not be true of us. Let us not flirt with Christ’s bride. Let us be faithful friends of the Bridegroom, ever living to direct the bride’s attention and affections to Him!
“Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness” (Ps. 115:1).
“For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ” (2 Cor. 11:2-3).
Yours in Christ,
Pastor Nick